Tank Plushie Disappointment

The long awaited tank plushie looks like a fucking gimp oompa loompa. A jolly rancher with legs, a wad of abc purple bubble gum. What the fuck, tanks AREN'T EVEN PURPLE. In the game the tanks are pink flesh of blobulous goodness. Not a fucking PURPLE. PURPLE. BAD. And why are there pound symbols on the tank, and little pink spots on his knees. Is that supposed to be cute? It looks like they didn't try as hard on the tank as they did the boomer. I am so disappointed, the tank was what I was looking forward to.

Alright Steam, I'm giving you one more chance. Make me a Jockey plushie that isn't green or some other jolly rancher color, and make it epic and I will forgive you for the tank plushie. The tank plushie failure has made me lose faith in you.

Btw WHY does the tank have elvis hair. The tank doesn't even have hair.

Left 4 Dead Series: What Now?

First there was The Passing, a campaign which at the end you find out that one of the original Left 4 Dead survivors has died to save the others, and then The Sacrifice was released. I ate up the comic, with amazing illustration that reminded me of the Dark Tower series of graphic novels. Visceral, violent and artsy with all of the backgrounds of the characters we have grown to love. So what now? At the end of the comic the island is in view, they are safe? I believe so. You can begin to argue about if Zoey will have little biker babies or little cute interracial babies.

What I would like to see now is the back stories of the Left 4 Dead 2 survivors. Hopefully they won't have another 'passing' campaign but perhaps something that goes into what the survivors do next. I would like to see new weapons, new special infected or some other new development like that. I also think that they should release an actual book of The Sacrifice because I would totally buy it. So far I don't think that is going to happen but I do predict another comic about the Left 4 Dead 2 group or new campaigns, but not for a while.

Also, where the fuck is my tank plushie. I have been waiting so long, it is time I have my destructive cuteness to hug.