Tank Plushie Disappointment

The long awaited tank plushie looks like a fucking gimp oompa loompa. A jolly rancher with legs, a wad of abc purple bubble gum. What the fuck, tanks AREN'T EVEN PURPLE. In the game the tanks are pink flesh of blobulous goodness. Not a fucking PURPLE. PURPLE. BAD. And why are there pound symbols on the tank, and little pink spots on his knees. Is that supposed to be cute? It looks like they didn't try as hard on the tank as they did the boomer. I am so disappointed, the tank was what I was looking forward to.

Alright Steam, I'm giving you one more chance. Make me a Jockey plushie that isn't green or some other jolly rancher color, and make it epic and I will forgive you for the tank plushie. The tank plushie failure has made me lose faith in you.

Btw WHY does the tank have elvis hair. The tank doesn't even have hair.