Why I don't give a sh*t about Heroes of Cosplay

I have read countless articles about Heroes of Cosplay, as well as observe all of the rantings on facebook about the show. Almost everyone has this as the general consensus: we don't want it. I finally decided to give a little input after reading an article by Zac Bertschy from Anime News Network that in a sarcastic, snarky way, pointed out a lot about the show as well as giving a nice overview of what happens in this show.

Now I have to post a disclaimer right now that I have never actually watched the show. I do not own a TV, and do not have even the slightest desire to waste my time looking up the show online. I do however follow Yaya Han's facebook page. I should not go any further without saying that Yaya Han is an impressive costumer. She is a superior crafstwoman and is making a living doing some pretty cool stuff, so I will not be attacking her character in this post. One thing I hate more than reality TV shows is when someone attacks the person themselves instead of whatever sh*tty thing they decided to do. As far as I'm concerned she is an artist, and her stuff is swoon worthy.

Heroes of Cosplay is opening a whole new ugly bag of worms for costumers. Copyright infringement as far as modeling and photographers hasn't been a huge issue in the industry as of yet, but now SyFy and this show is stepping on some toes. BGZ Photography is currently seeking out compensation for use of his photos, which in my opinion he very well deserves. All of this may as well lead to a less friendly convention/cosplay culture, where both costumers and photographers are more reserved about who gets to shoot/get shot and the legal implications that go beyond that.

Reality TV is a poisonous, degraded version of entertainment. What will you learn from watching a show like that? Nothing. Costuming/cosplay is losing its way, trying to find an identity that isn't fully formed yet. Women like Yaya-Han and Ani-Mia are the forerunners in what cosplay could become. A big popularity contest, among other things.


On one last note, I am a sexuality and sex positive person. If a girl wants to wear a costume that shows some skin, then I think she should be able to do that and feel safe and respected. I don't think we should be shaming these cosplayers for displaying characters in a slightly sexual way. I do think they should be very aware of what power their lady lumps have, and not make it an arms (or can I say boobs) race to the top.

Cosplaying with found items and Craigslist

 The picture above is my 'workstation' it sits crammed in a hallway in a house I share with 3 other people. It is constantly covered with other people's junk, including purses and jackets sitting on top of armor patterns and sketches. When I sit hunched over this table, my roommates are shoving past me to get into the kitchen. There is a bike that sits in the corner, and most of the things I need are in boxes in a closet upstairs. One of my roommates took the lamp I use for details as a homework lamp in their bedroom, so squinting is usually combined with the hunching while I sit here.

I would consider myself a cosplayer on a budget. I make a very modest amount of money from my job, I spend most of it on school and food but I still have a desire to make attractive cosplays. I am currently putting together my Tomb Raider 2013 cosplay, and I realized how crazy my process is. I am not one of those cosplayers that has a whole closet for her cosplays, and a garage full of powertools and materials to use for costumes (yet) so I have to improvise. A LOT.

I would have to say most of my cosplays barely go past the $100 mark for all of the materials. My most expensive to date would probably have to be my mandalorian armor but it still isn't finished, and probably has barely even broken that $100 budget. One of my cheapest was probably this version of Zoey from L4D. I had pretty much everything already, just bought some bandaging tape and folded up my ThinkGeek t-shirt to make the medpack. This cosplay isn't really on the level I'm trying to achieve any more, and I will be re making it and (dropping a small hint) mayybe wearing it at an upcoming convention with another character from the games.

When I know a convention is coming up (I probably start this process a month before) I make a list of all the things I need for a cosplay and decide what I'm going to make from scratch and what I'm going to buy or modify from something else. Then, I spend a lot of time in thrift stores and stores like Ross looking for things I can use. I recently just purchased a REAL compound bow for my Lara Croft. For $50 bucks. So far this cosplay is starting to be one of my most expensive, but still I have only spent about $100 on materials. I ask friends for their broken crap. I find an old pair of pants that I can rip off pockets from. I go through plenty of failed attempts, and there have been several times where I have left something out drying and someone else has put their backpack on it. I sometimes spray paint pieces in the front yard, and have people walking by on the sidewalk stare at me like I'm some sort of crazed lunatic.

My point with telling you all of this is you don't have be monied to be able to make your cosplays. I still get them done. They aren't as beautiful and impressive as Ana Mia or any other of the cosplay super stars, but that isn't what cosplay is all about. Cosplay is doing the best with what you have, and really owning/loving the character you are portraying. I am moving at the end of the summer to a house that does have a workshop, but I have gone about 3 years of cosplaying with only a battered dining room table and a few drawers full of materials.

A confident girl does whatever she wants

People feel threatened when someone doesn't fit into predetermined stereo types. It is evolutionary fact. We have evolved with basic survival instincts that tell our brains to quickly categorize threats and outside stimuli. If you don't believe me please read this article here. So when a person comes along that does not fit into the neat little boxes in the mind, people are going to have problems with it. That is one of the biggest reasons that recently there has been so much negativity toward girls like Felicia Day (this is my own theory at least). Hot girls don't play video games. Pretty, intelligent, self confident girls don't do things like watch science fiction and go to conventions. Recently those outraged statements keep popping up again, and again. Even though it is completely incorrect.

The more sexually confident a girl is, the more they seem to get talked down for it as well. There is a huge double standard in our culture that says that sexually confident girls can't be self respecting as well. Sex is a bad thing. This is a leftover from Christian negative mentalities toward completely natural things like sex and sexual preference. Even people who aren't religious and claim to not have any religious backgrounds are using these negative outlooks toward sex when they see a girl like Felicia Day.

I have no problem dressing up in sexy costumes. Sure, I can't deny that there is attention that I get from it that could be part of why I do it. However, almost all of the characters I choose to cosplay are also strong, confident, aggressive female characters. If a girl wants to wear a mini skirt and pasties and run around in public, more power to her in my opinion. She isn't hurting anyone. Contrary to popular belief that tits are going to ruin the world, they aren't. Your child isn't going to become an immoral horrible person because they saw some girl body painted at a festival. They see their mother's breasts when they are first born, and I'm almost positive parents have changed in front of their children as well.

So stop telling me that I can't model and play video games. That there is no way that I could be interested in making Mandalorian armor and building computers. Don't try to tell me that I am self depreciating because I participate in artistic nudity from time to time. I am all of the things I want to be, and maybe I don't fit into some mold that you have decided all people must fit in to. Too bad. We all have these ideas in our head about how the world should work, and almost always that isn't how it actually does work. Next time you suddenly feel discomfort because of a person, instead of saying something mean think about why that person bothers you and identify why they are offending you. I'm not saying you shouldn't be offended, but don't tell them they can't be themselves because you don't like what they're doing.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199805/where-bias-begins-the-truth-about-stereotypes

Post convention depression (and how I deal with it)

During the past year, conventions and traveling for big events has become a pretty frequent part of my life. I would say that I attend a convention or a dance exchange at least twice a month. For me, conventions are total blast, but they also wear me out. I often find that for the week after I attend a convention I either get sick or depressed. When I go to a convention every other week, I couldn't maintain a lifestyle that was so up and down. So I started experimenting with my own body and mind, and found out what works for me so I stay healthy and happy during the convention and don't crash afterwards. I'm still learning, it is certainly a trial and error sort of process...with a few explosions and failed experiments.

1. I don't drink during conventions
This sucks to pass up. Anyone who has been to a convention knows how much partying goes on during them. I have found that there is no way I can possibly drink AT ALL and be able to be happy and function on only a few hours of sleep (and on top of that wear some uncomfortable cosplay) I change the rules a little bit if I am not at elevation, but I still avoid partying too much. When you are going for work, you can't really afford to be hungover for the booth the next day.

2. DURING: I eat A TON
I have found that eating can help replace lack of sleep, and help keep me from being stressed. I eat a lot, and healthy. If I am flying, I eat as much fruit on the way there and back as I possibly can. I have seen so many people opt for the burger when they are about to get on the plane, and I shudder at the thought. If you are going to spend the weekend pushing your body to the complete limits, you might as well be nice to it beforehand. Even when I'm not hungry and I'm walking around at the convention I will snack on something. Often times I even have a friend remind me to eat every once and a while.

3. DURING: Naps
Not everyone can sleep during the day, but I have found it is a great way to prepare for a night time event or take a break during the day. By nap I mean no more than an hour and a half, if you sleep any more than that you will feel really crappy. I sleep on the plane, in the car if I'm not driving, and on any surface I find suitable when there is down time. When I know I'm going to do the same thing the next weekend you take it when you can get it.

4. DURING: I take breaks from the floor
I am by nature an introvert. It takes all of my energy and attention to be friendly and walk around a convention. This doesn't mean I don't love it, it just means I need to take a break. I will often times duck into an empty room and sit for a few minutes, or if I have a hotel room pop back up there for a few minutes. Even just taking some extra alone time in the bathroom (who cares what other people think about what you're doing in there) to pop in your earbuds and listen to a few good songs while you do absolutely nothing can recharge you.

5. AFTER: Take a day off
I have not found a way around this. Spending three days on my feet, dressing crazy, talking to people and not sleeping much cannot be ended by hopping back on the work or school train. Even if I try to avoid this part, I end up not going anyways. I need a day to unpack (or pretend like I do and just leave everything in the bag for weeks) and just decompress. Take this day to go through all the pictures you or your friends took, and do all the write ups for events and send out your thank yous.  


6. AFTER: Let yourself sleep a little extra
This will change depending on how much sleep you normally want and how your body likes to catch up, but for me I need to have at least one night of 12 hours of sleep if I have only had about 3 or 4 hours for the past few days. Then, I wake up for a few hours and sleep again. I don't let myself stay in this schedule though, this is one of the huge causes of post convention depression for me. I make myself stay up till my regular bed time and wake up at a decent hour the second day.

Cosplay and Sexuality

So my last post about girl gamers and sexuality had a lot of discussion spurred from it, and I have another topic that I often am asked about that I would like to put my two cents into. I dress up and get paid for it. To some people that sounds like some sort of scandalous way to make money, close to being a stripper or an escort. I have been asked if I get off from dressing up, or if I ever wear my cosplays to the bedroom.

The idea has occurred to me. I would be a liar if I said it hadn't. However, I do not wear my cosplays to the bedroom or have not yet. I don't cosplay because it is a kink of mine, I cosplay because I really look up to the characters I like to dress up as and it is my way of expressing my rabid affection for them. I think that people who don't understand cosplay instantly think it is some sort of nasty kinky thing that geeky people do. Think of it more as an art form, and yes sometimes art has sex in it. So there are things like cosplay deviants (which is an awesome website if you do like the geeky kink) but there are also people like me who just do it because I want to feel as awesome as Laura Croft or Black Widow.

Dressing up or role playing in sex has been a sort of 'taboo' and a lot of people are embarrassed o talk about it. Something that 'only happens in porn' or only really crazy people do. I personally think people shouldn't be so freaked out about sex. Biology indicates that we are all here to have sex, and we should stop being embarrassed about life. If dressing up like a video game or comic book character and getting it on is something that would totally get you off, then so be it. However, that is not why everyone dresses up.

Unimpressed with Origin, EA

I am a HUGE fan of Bioware games (excluding Dragon Age 2 but we won't talk about that) and I have been so excited for so long to play Mass Effect 3. I have been babbling about it online for months, hinted at making my own nerf gun modifications based on ME guns, and even hinted at a cosplay. When the release date came upon us, my plans on showing up at a midnight release were ruined by a 103 degree fever. Then, after I happily purchased ME3 from the comfort of my own home (I decided to go with the Digital Deluxe Version from Amazon) it took the regular 6 or so hours to download. At the end of that download time, an error window popped up telling me a file was corrupt and I had to start over. Frustration, anger, disappointment. This meant I would have to wait yet another day before I could play. Not only that, but Origin, EA's new 'groovy' way to play with friends is somehow tied to another EA account that I could not for the life of me remember the password for. Through the Origin client, it was failing to send me an email to reset my password. I had to go to the EA page and reset the password from there, only to discover it STILL wouldn't install because of some shittery or another and it expects me to re-download AGAIN. So when I try to do so, Origin crashes. Every. Single. Time.

For one, EA, I do not want your shitty social platform for gaming. I already have Steam which links to my facebook and whatever else I could possibly want it to link to (I have a PC, I don't want my asshole XBL friends to see me on Steam to be completely honest) and your attempts are making it so I cannot play a game that if you had not put up so many barriers I could have just freakin installed and played. So you could say my first impressions of Mass Effect 3 have not been good. Maybe if I just bought the CD version I wouldn't have had to go through all this trouble, but I'm a PC gamer. I like to just buy my games off Steam and then off I go.

Girl Gaming and Sexuality

I have been seeing a lot of things like this around, and I really am starting to get pissed off by it. I think a lot about how being female works with being a gamer, or if it should be any issue at all (I don't think it should be) and a lot of people ask me stupid questions about what I do and why I do it. For those of you who don't know what I do, I work for a company called the D20 Girls Project. We 'promote a positive image of girl geeks and gamers in the industry' by showing that gamer girls come in all shapes and sizes, and we often times work booths for vendors and socialize at conventions. By all shapes and sizes that means the chub chubs and some fucking hot vixens too.

Girl gamers can wear makeup and look sexy. They can have toned abs, work out as well as pwn noobs on their spare time. I am completely comfortable with my sexuality. I may not pose nude (I have a lot of reasons why I don't) but I am totally comfortable wearing my black bodysuit to a convention with no panties on underneath and toting little golden guns as Black Widow. Why? Because being that geeky makes me feel validated and sexy. I hate how everyone is using 'slut' as a bad word, or even calling people sluts when they really know nothing about them. I actually don't have sex very often, typically only have exclusive partners or no partners at all (usually the second one) and I just like to have fun (NOT in a sexual way, but hey sometimes)

I have met a lot of girls that have been very opposed to my viewpoint. They say that I shouldn't be so overtly feminine if I want to be treated equal in the gaming world. I say I should be able to be whatever the fuck I want, and the people who don't like it don't have to look. I'm comfortable with my body, I am comfortable with my job, and I love to play video games. And although you can post all these cute things about a grungy gamer girl curled up in front of the TV (and sometimes I AM that girl) a girl who games and puts on some lipstick and macks her controller for the camera can be just as valid.

Trying to promote a positive view on gamers and making a double standard on what they can be is damn stupid. Geeks can be sexy, and they can flaunt it. All this fear of sexuality or the lack thereof needs to be left alone, in this digital culture there is room for everyone. So stop hatin. Here's my slutty abs with a controller. Kiss this. Mwah.

Zoidberg Skyrim mod

Another completely silly Skyrim mod for your enjoyment. I have been writing real articles at the gamers blog, mostly about Star Wars and other recent games (I know amazing I have actually be reviewing new games). I plan on saving a few worthwhile articles for this blog, but for now there is only zoidberg crabs.

Skyrim Glitch of the Day

So I have been thinking about the glitches in Skyrim after I spoke on the Gamersblog podcast about the problems with Skyrim. Today I had a very charming one.

I entered a town I am almost positive I had no bounty with (there are a few that I can no longer enter) and of course RANDOM DRAGON ATTACK. So I run further into the village. I have found it is a lot easier to keep the dragon contained (less random flying off and spinning) if you are in a village. Also, hey free firepower from the villager. So the battle was going fine until the dragon got to less than half health. Then all of the sudden I look down and the villagers are attacking my horse. They kill my horse and come running after me. I had not shot at any of them, but I was pissed so I shot this one lady in the face. My bounty for the town went to 40g serious confusion. I reloaded my game and I am just going to avoid said dragon and said town.

Star Wars the Old Republic

A copy of this game is now mine. A few days late, but I am very pleased about this. After World of Warcraft, I believe I am going to do some research into classes and builds before I start playing. I made the terrible mistake of making my first character a huntard in WoW and I do not want to make a similar mistake again.

Happy Holidays!

For the holidays I would like to announce that I will be writing for The Gamers Blog as one of their regular contributors. Do not fear! This does not mean this blog will no longer be supplied. I will save this one for my more inappropriate posts, silly things and my involvement in the industry that is not video game related. I will hopefully continue to post about as equally in both places.

I also have a modeling fan page on facebook, and will soon have a page for this blog as well.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Foxx-Official-D20-Girl/151161908319830

Have a happy holidays!

The Dark Knight Rises

Now here is a movie that I am actually excited for. Recently I have been pretty bored with the movies coming out (come on, Happy Feet 2? Please) Yes I know this isn't until the summer but at least now I have something to look forward to.

Animation

So this isn't normally what I post here, but since it is technology related I wanted to talk a little bit about animation. After having to create a stop motion animation, I have a new found respect for anything animated. The amount of time it takes to even make a little mouse blink is overwhelming. This little video took me about 10 hours total time to complete. I created it using Adobe Photoshop, After Effects and Illustrator with a little bit of iMovie as well.

Adobe After Effects is one of those programs you can't just pull up and use, it was very cruel of my professor to expect us to use it. However, I did learn a huge amount about all three programs and storyboarding as well. A step in the right direction for game development!

Cheese!

Time for some change

So for the first time since I built my PC (probably about four years ago now) I am unable to play a game. I am supposed to review RAGE for the D20 Girls Magazine, and I got the game for my birthday. I FINALLY downloaded it (Skyrim distracted me).

When I went to launch the game, I was prompted that my GeForce Nvidia drivers were out of date...I wasn't surprised by this message but I had played Skyrim just fine earlier (although for once I couldn't run a game with all high settings) so I updated the drivers and got the same error. Then when I ignored the error the game wouldn't launch. I was wondering if some of my components of my computer were needing an upgrade, I think the graphics card is the first.

Sadly, I am very behind on what is new and exciting in the hardware world. So my journey is to now re-learn everything I have forgotten while I was pretending that my four year old PC was still awesome.

Skyrim

Yes, I was gifted Skyrim by a friend passing through my city. I do enjoy it, and I was going to review it and talk about what I like and don't like but since I am late getting the game and every other D20 girl from here to Massachusetts is reviewing the game, I want to share my favorite review of the game instead.

The Escapist : Zero Punctuation : The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I will however be posting soon about what makes games addicting to me, with shiny pictures and everything. Enjoy!

Gears of War 3

Gears of War 3 is coming out tomorrow! In case you didn't know...

I would be more excited, but I am not going to buy it. Why? It is 60 bucks, which I guess is normal for games these days but damn. 60 bucks I could be spending on food or something. I suppose I have become too used to getting games for free and playing the betas and alpha tests. Anyways, for those of you who pre ordered or are going to buy it tomorrow, enjoy!

Speaking of testing games, I actually can't talk about them. I am testing an arena style fps right now though, but I had to sign something saying I wouldn't talk about it. Bummer. I'm not even really allowed to talk about the studio it is coming from. So I guess I will have to find other things to talk about on my blog.

Redheads are always the tough ones

After much arguing, Bioware has announced that female shepard for Mass Effect 3 will be a redhead. For a while it looked like the blonde was going to win (super lame) but redhead was the one that pulled out at the end. I would like to say that my Shepard has always been a redhead and will continue to always be a redhead.

To enter or not to enter

Bioware is having a Mass Effect costume contest. I actually am planning a Mass Effect cosplay this year and was thinking of showing it off first at Nan Desu Kan in September. I just might speed up my efforts to enter this contest...not quite sure though.

I'm not much of a contest person, I just don't really care enough to get people to vote for me etc etc. There was a girl gamer contest a month or two ago that a lot of girls I knew were involved in, but really it seemed like a total bore. I don't need a contest to be cool.

I won't tell you what character I'm cosplaying quite yet, but I'll give you a hint by saying I'll probably have to go from a redhead to a brunette to play her.

Old Republic Pre Order Available

FINALLY. I'm very disappointed that I didn't get to be part of the beta test (honestly I don't know anyone who did) but I am alpha testing for a game that has barely been announced yet. Unfortunately I can't talk about it in my blog :( bummer! Super top secret game testing.

I believe that Old Republic will be my next mmo (after WoW) since my WoW account is officially lost forever due to repeated hacking etc etc and my patience with the security systems of battle net has worn thin. Hopefully the Old Republic lives up to my expectations. The most recent gameplay trailers look very polished, so I'm hoping that is a good sing. Maybe soon they will actually announce the release date. I'm always unsure about preordering until I know the actual date, so I'm not sure if I'm buying in yet.

Just a hint, the game I am alpha testing is an mmo.